Lately it seems like most of the activity on this blog is people asking me to tell them how they should identify. I am not entirely comfortable with that and am going to stop answer those kinds of questions for awhile.
Would it be helpful if I posted a list of terms, definitions, and such? There may have been one posted before, but I could make a page with a permanent link if people are interested.
I'm sure this is just like a lot of other questions you receive, but having a sensual attraction, and not minding sex, but not particularly looking to have sex is considered gray-a, right? For example, to me sex is basically just an intense cuddle taken to another level. I don't get any sexual satisfaction out of it and wouldn't be the one to suggest it, but I don't mind it and it's fun on occasion. I was also wondering if there was a more specific term for this? Thanks for reading this btw =)
Since behavior is not attraction, it is completely possible to enjoy sex and be asexual. I suppose if you want a specific term for someone who does not experience sexual attraction but does not mind sex, that term would be an indifferent asexual, or an asexual who is indifferent to sex.
Gray asexuality describes people who experience something akin to sexual attraction that they identify as a kind of sexual attraction.
Hey, anyone want to help me revise an info sheet on asexuality?
The current draft is here and will be updated as I make changes.
If anyone has any comments, criticism, things that need to be added, things that don’t seem important, please let me know!
It’s still a rough draft, so it definitely needs some work, especially in the challenges section.
Also, if you see anything problematic please don’t hesitate to call me out on it - I can take the criticism, and I really want this to be as informative and unproblematic as possible.
It said to draw a line, but I think the line looks very strange.
The gender identity is supposed to be not there but closer to “woman” than anything else, because I lack gender identity, but the world interacts with me as if I am a woman and I’m ok with that.
I’m not really sure how to do an image description for this. Suggestions?
grey-asexuality in fandom
i’ve been thinking that there needs to be an AceFest, like the LGBTFest on LJ. there’s been an Asexy Valentines Fest, but it focused solely on romantic asexuals, no grey-As or demis or aros. i thought i’d throw the idea over here and see if anyone’s interested?
Another sweet story (submitted by elebuufish)
I won’t give the long looooong story about the years I spent believing I was straight, just “damaged” or sterilized or stupid.
Instead, let’s look at what happened when I discovered demisexuality AND grey-asexuality. I confided in my beloved that I found something that made such perfect sense, why I never lusted for him until we were close for many, many months, and yet still without notice the feelings and the very experience of understanding feeling sexual would still slip and ebb, returning me to my primordially asexual state.
I told him all of this, and he smiled and said “That makes sense! I always thought you might be a little different.”
I identify as both demi and grey-A because of the aforementioned patterns in my attraction. When I’m feeling very demi… he loves how intensely I am attracted to him.
Now he is so sensitive to my boundaries, and he knows when I’m feeling “grey” not to confound me with advances. I have never made more sense to myself, or my lovers, and the confidence in myself I’ve had since discovering what I really am has been unshakable.
When I see drama on the tags, all I have to do is remember how utterly things suddenly CLICKED when I discovered my sexuality was a thing, and that other people experienced it too. I hope you all remember that as well, no matter what stupid shit people have to say about you.
I couldn’t think of anything unique or interesting to post this weekend, sorry. This blog has a lot of followers, though, so I thought I could try posting a discussion question. I know discussions on tumblr don’t work as well as on other sites, but reblogging works ok.
So, onto the question! Do you identify as queer based on your gray-a/demi identity? What about GSM (“gender and/or sexual minority” in this case sexual minority)?
I personally identify as queer for other reasons and being gray-a is part of my GSM identity, but not my queer one.