I identify myself as demisexual and I just realised that I'm living now the longest time with no sexual desire what so ever. Sorry to bother you with this but I just wanted to share how GREAT it feels and how freeing it is! ! I don't feel anymore like I need to have sex to fit in this ridiculous society!Thank you so much for making me proud to be myself and for letting me be a better me, or at least, a freer version of myself! (:
I’m glad you feel so happy!
I occasionally get crushes, mostly on the same sex, but since my girlfriend split up with me a year ago I havent really been able to find anyone as attractive as I did her. I also lack in sex drive, but this hasn't always been the case as I have and can be turned on by the thought of having sex depending on my mood. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and wonder if this could be the case, or whether my standards are just ridiculously high.
Anonymous
I don’t know what to tell you. I think it is the sort of thing that you have to figure out for yourself as you go.
i am only sexually aroused when completely alone. i reject other people sexually, i feel sick just thinking about touching them, or being touched by them. but every once in a while i find myself having sexual fantasies about people i *cannot* have. (specifically celebrity or teacher) no real reason i can think of. i feel strange.
Anonymous
So, I've been thinking about it lately. I like kissing, but probably not as much as some people. And I used to be really into the idea of sex, but lately I have no desire and I don't really get turned on anymore. I also don't really feel attracted to anyone. Does that sound like I'm just going through a weird time in my life and the desire will come back or does that sound like maybe I'm gray-ace?
Anonymous
I really can’t tell you that. Only time can.
Growing up, I've never had a real crush. I'm in high school now and only recently have I felt slightly attracted to someone. I never really looked at guys(or girls) in a romantic way before my boyfriend, but I still feel not as into it as most people are with their boyfriends. I recently came upon this term and I was wondering if I could be Gray-Asexual? I mean it does explain why I've not had crushes.
Anonymous
You could be. No one but you can really decide how you should identify. It’s also ok to identify as gray-asexual for now even if it doesn’t end up fitting you later. From 9th to 12th grade, I went from identifying as straight to bisexual to pansexual. I didn’t figure out I was gray-a until my senior year of college.
Also, not having crushes could also be a romantic thing. I’d recommend looking up some aromantic/gray-romantic resources.
I am a woman,my boyfriend and I would have sex regularly (at least 3 times a week) but after about a year into our relationship he told me that he just wasn't a very sexual person. I never really understood how that would work, could that possibly mean he was somewhat of a gray-asexual person?
Anonymous
He could be. Or he could be asexual and not gray-a. Or he could be a person who experiences sexual attraction to the point where he wouldn’t be in the ace spectrum but is not so interested in having sex. I can’t really see into his mind, so I don’t know.
I also don’t really feel comfortable assigned someone I don’t know a label, especially when they themselves haven’t told me anything.
I do experience sexual attraction toward people sometimes (though not frequently), but most of my crushes on actual people tend to be asexual. However, I experience a LOT of attraction and desire for fictional characters. Especially animated ones. If it weren't for my drive for characters, I'd consider myself a grey-ace, I think, but the ease at which I get hot and bothered for fictional characters throws me off.... What do you think?
Anonymous
I have no idea. I’d say that if you experience a lot of sexual attraction than it doesn’t sound gray-a to me, but if it is limited circumstances than it very well could fall into the gray-a category. I guess in your position I’d be asking myself why it is primarily fictional characters.
You’re the only one who really has the answers. I can provide definitions and opinion, but I’m not some arbiter of labels. I’m just a gray-a person who spent a lot of time figuring out how they identify.
I identify as asexual, but I like erotica. To be more exact, I like a very narrow and specific type of vaguely erotic art and literature. It doesn't turn me on, and if there's any focus on actual genitalia or especially fluids, I get grossed out pretty quickly. I basically just like it on an aesthetic/emotional level, because I'm intrigued by and appreciative of the intimacy of sexual relationships. Is this strange?
Anonymous
It doesn’t sound strange to me at all.
DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert in anything, I have never studied anything related to sexuality, and I cannot deem you officially or ace-spectrum or sexual or “normal” (whatever the hell that is, I don’t think there is a normal) or whatever.
Recently I thought I might be asexual but I have a question... What if I think people are attractive or sexy or whatever but the idea of actually having sex revolts me? Am I asexual, or what?
Anonymous
You sound like you might be repulsed. It’s possible to experience sex repulsion for a person of any sexual orientation. If you experience sexual attraction, you are probably not asexual, though you might be gray-A or demi, depending on how the sexual attraction occurs.
