I identify myself as demisexual and I just realised that I'm living now the longest time with no sexual desire what so ever. Sorry to bother you with this but I just wanted to share how GREAT it feels and how freeing it is! ! I don't feel anymore like I need to have sex to fit in this ridiculous society!Thank you so much for making me proud to be myself and for letting me be a better me, or at least, a freer version of myself! (:
I’m glad you feel so happy!
I occasionally get crushes, mostly on the same sex, but since my girlfriend split up with me a year ago I havent really been able to find anyone as attractive as I did her. I also lack in sex drive, but this hasn't always been the case as I have and can be turned on by the thought of having sex depending on my mood. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and wonder if this could be the case, or whether my standards are just ridiculously high.
I don’t know what to tell you. I think it is the sort of thing that you have to figure out for yourself as you go.
i am only sexually aroused when completely alone. i reject other people sexually, i feel sick just thinking about touching them, or being touched by them. but every once in a while i find myself having sexual fantasies about people i *cannot* have. (specifically celebrity or teacher) no real reason i can think of. i feel strange.
So, I've been thinking about it lately. I like kissing, but probably not as much as some people. And I used to be really into the idea of sex, but lately I have no desire and I don't really get turned on anymore. I also don't really feel attracted to anyone. Does that sound like I'm just going through a weird time in my life and the desire will come back or does that sound like maybe I'm gray-ace?
I really can’t tell you that. Only time can.
Growing up, I've never had a real crush. I'm in high school now and only recently have I felt slightly attracted to someone. I never really looked at guys(or girls) in a romantic way before my boyfriend, but I still feel not as into it as most people are with their boyfriends. I recently came upon this term and I was wondering if I could be Gray-Asexual? I mean it does explain why I've not had crushes.
You could be. No one but you can really decide how you should identify. It’s also ok to identify as gray-asexual for now even if it doesn’t end up fitting you later. From 9th to 12th grade, I went from identifying as straight to bisexual to pansexual. I didn’t figure out I was gray-a until my senior year of college.
Also, not having crushes could also be a romantic thing. I’d recommend looking up some aromantic/gray-romantic resources.
I am a woman,my boyfriend and I would have sex regularly (at least 3 times a week) but after about a year into our relationship he told me that he just wasn't a very sexual person. I never really understood how that would work, could that possibly mean he was somewhat of a gray-asexual person?
He could be. Or he could be asexual and not gray-a. Or he could be a person who experiences sexual attraction to the point where he wouldn’t be in the ace spectrum but is not so interested in having sex. I can’t really see into his mind, so I don’t know.
I also don’t really feel comfortable assigned someone I don’t know a label, especially when they themselves haven’t told me anything.
I do experience sexual attraction toward people sometimes (though not frequently), but most of my crushes on actual people tend to be asexual. However, I experience a LOT of attraction and desire for fictional characters. Especially animated ones. If it weren't for my drive for characters, I'd consider myself a grey-ace, I think, but the ease at which I get hot and bothered for fictional characters throws me off.... What do you think?
I have no idea. I’d say that if you experience a lot of sexual attraction than it doesn’t sound gray-a to me, but if it is limited circumstances than it very well could fall into the gray-a category. I guess in your position I’d be asking myself why it is primarily fictional characters.
You’re the only one who really has the answers. I can provide definitions and opinion, but I’m not some arbiter of labels. I’m just a gray-a person who spent a lot of time figuring out how they identify.
I identify as asexual, but I like erotica. To be more exact, I like a very narrow and specific type of vaguely erotic art and literature. It doesn't turn me on, and if there's any focus on actual genitalia or especially fluids, I get grossed out pretty quickly. I basically just like it on an aesthetic/emotional level, because I'm intrigued by and appreciative of the intimacy of sexual relationships. Is this strange?
It doesn’t sound strange to me at all.
DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert in anything, I have never studied anything related to sexuality, and I cannot deem you officially or ace-spectrum or sexual or “normal” (whatever the hell that is, I don’t think there is a normal) or whatever.
Recently I thought I might be asexual but I have a question... What if I think people are attractive or sexy or whatever but the idea of actually having sex revolts me? Am I asexual, or what?
You sound like you might be repulsed. It’s possible to experience sex repulsion for a person of any sexual orientation. If you experience sexual attraction, you are probably not asexual, though you might be gray-A or demi, depending on how the sexual attraction occurs.