May 2013
1 post
Anonymous asked: I was raised Southern Baptist and consider myself non-denominational, and though I just started identifying as gray-a last year, I never really felt comfortable expressing myself in my church. They're not very LGBTQ-friendly, naturally, so I always felt a bit uncomfortable whenever anyone started talking about how I needed a girlfriend or whatever. I never got around to telling anyone that...
April 2013
1 post
Anonymous asked: I just wanted to say that finding this blog a couple of days ago was incredibly helpful since it helped me not only understand what asexuality, gray-sexuality and demisexuality are, but also understand myself more. Thanks and keep up the good work! :D
March 2013
3 posts
fightforthebody asked: In response to the anon with religion: In my experience, it depends greatly on the religion. Judeo-Christian religions are just as antagonistic toward a's and gray-a's as queer identifiers because they demand that you 'go forth and multiply' and offer the basis of a legitimate marriage as being one that is consummated. Obviously a's and gray-a's (such as myself) take...
Anonymous asked: Let me rephrase. Clearly, the LGBT community has had to look outside of traditional religion to develop their spiritual lives, because in every religion anything but monogamous sexual relations within a marriage between a man and a woman is considered a sin. Do asexuals suffer from feeling outcast by religions or do they feel ostracized more so from secular society?
Anonymous asked: Definitely in the gray-asexuality spectrum. I have always identified more with my emotional, intellectual and spiritual sides than my physical/sexual side (my body). Emotionally (romantically) always drawn to women. Physically turned on by men (though I don't want sex with them). Intellectually &spiritually drawn to both. My spiritual life is as confusing as my sexuality. Basically a...
February 2013
5 posts
5 tags
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Lately it seems like most of the activity on this blog is people asking me to tell them how they should identify. I am not entirely comfortable with that and am going to stop answer those kinds of questions for awhile.
Would it be helpful if I posted a list of terms, definitions, and such? There may have been one posted before, but I could make a page with a permanent link if people are...
Anonymous asked: Hi :)I am a girl and I have a question on identifying. I have never had sex, ever. I never felt like I want to, but I've felt attraction to people, like I want to hug and cuddle and maybe kiss (but not so much, Idk) If I see a 'triggering' picture of some sort, I don't feel anything. I do get turned on sometimes if I see sexy boy or girl. I usually just get very nervous if I...
Anonymous asked: So.... I thought I was gay but is it possible I'm gray-asexual? I don't have any desire or wish to be in a relationship with a girl.... with a guy, I like to cuddle and I can find one cute or good looking but I have absolutely no desire for sex.... I have had sex before but I didn't have the desire to, I did it for him, and just the idea of it does not come to mind, I am willing to...
Anonymous asked: I'm the anon who was raped. First, thanks for the rapid response! I'm currently in counseling, although that was originally for my bipolar 2(among other things, my life is a laundry list of trauma :)) I just wanted to clarify whether i'd be suited best to gray or a-sexuality. If i'm completely wrong could you tell me where to go? Thanks again.
January 2013
5 posts
greenisms asked: To that Anon who was raped--I just wanted to say that yes, you should seek counseling if you feel like those experiences are stopping you from doing certain things YOU would like to do, or if they're interfering with your happiness to this day. Abuse is not something you fully get over, but you can recover from it. :) However, don't feel pressured to feel some sort of sexual attraction;...
Anonymous asked: I was raped twice, at 7 and 9. I don't ever recall having any sexual attraction to anyone, although I MIGHT have, because I don't really have any memories of age 9 downwards and 10-16 is pretty hazy(I'm 18 btw). What should I do?
Anonymous asked: Does gray sexuality have it's own flag/colours or is it the same as the one from asexuals?
Anonymous asked: So I frequently find myself sexually attracted to various people, including my long-term boyfriend. However I do not enjoy sex. Sex isn't amazing to me like everybody says. I find it rather boring and pointless. I don't get overly turned on although I do often want to have sex but afterwards I usually wonder why I bothered because it's so mediocre and even the orgasm isn't...
Anonymous asked: I'm not sure what this is but here it goes, I don't enjoy sex very much, I just enjoy pleasuring my partner. When they are feeling good it makes me feel good but I'd rather masterbate by myself than have sex. It feels like a chore to me & it really hurts. I don't like my nipples touched I feel nothing, I don't like intercourse with anything & I cannot have tampons...
December 2012
4 posts
mirrormirrorfalltopieces asked: I just recently discovered this and I am soooo happy! I didn't know other people like me were out there! This really isn't a question but I just really wanted to tell someone hope you don't mind :3
madasahatter37 asked: For the anon who is wondering if Asexuals experience kissing and cuddling: I love to cuddle and kiss with my partner :) I think it varies from person to person
Anonymous asked: I was reading some of the other questions and you talked about how you had identified as a lot of different things throughout your life, if so what is the point of identifying at all?
Anonymous asked: Im still kinda trying to figure it all out, but I think I might identify as Gray-A, or maybe even possibly Asexual (biromantic). I'm having some confused feelings though, a lot of self doubt. Is it normal for Asexuals/Gray Asexuals to enjoy kissing/closed mouth "making out", and cuddling, even though they dont desire sex?
November 2012
4 posts
Anonymous asked: I am a completely common heterosexual girl despite the fact that I can't stand the idea of having sex or being touched or sharing my own body with somebody else. I'm not really fond of proximity and I don't really feel aroused toward people; flesh purely as flesh doesn't attract me in any way. I just fall for someone and want to be with them, but the idea of intimacy just...
synesthesiafuckerrules asked: I identify myself as demisexual and I just realised that I'm living now the longest time with no sexual desire what so ever. Sorry to bother you with this but I just wanted to share how GREAT it feels and how freeing it is! ! I don't feel anymore like I need to have sex to fit in this ridiculous society!Thank you so much for making me proud to be myself and for letting me be a better me,...
Anonymous asked: I occasionally get crushes, mostly on the same sex, but since my girlfriend split up with me a year ago I havent really been able to find anyone as attractive as I did her. I also lack in sex drive, but this hasn't always been the case as I have and can be turned on by the thought of having sex depending on my mood. I suffer from a lot of anxiety and wonder if this could be the case, or...
Anonymous asked: i am only sexually aroused when completely alone. i reject other people sexually, i feel sick just thinking about touching them, or being touched by them. but every once in a while i find myself having sexual fantasies about people i *cannot* have. (specifically celebrity or teacher) no real reason i can think of. i feel strange.
August 2012
2 posts
Anonymous asked: So, I've been thinking about it lately. I like kissing, but probably not as much as some people. And I used to be really into the idea of sex, but lately I have no desire and I don't really get turned on anymore. I also don't really feel attracted to anyone. Does that sound like I'm just going through a weird time in my life and the desire will come back or does that sound like...
Anonymous asked: Growing up, I've never had a real crush. I'm in high school now and only recently have I felt slightly attracted to someone. I never really looked at guys(or girls) in a romantic way before my boyfriend, but I still feel not as into it as most people are with their boyfriends. I recently came upon this term and I was wondering if I could be Gray-Asexual? I mean it does explain why...
July 2012
2 posts
Anonymous asked: I am a woman,my boyfriend and I would have sex regularly (at least 3 times a week) but after about a year into our relationship he told me that he just wasn't a very sexual person. I never really understood how that would work, could that possibly mean he was somewhat of a gray-asexual person?
Anonymous asked: I do experience sexual attraction toward people sometimes (though not frequently), but most of my crushes on actual people tend to be asexual. However, I experience a LOT of attraction and desire for fictional characters. Especially animated ones. If it weren't for my drive for characters, I'd consider myself a grey-ace, I think, but the ease at which I get hot and bothered for fictional...
June 2012
3 posts
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Anonymous asked: I identify as asexual, but I like erotica. To be more exact, I like a very narrow and specific type of vaguely erotic art and literature. It doesn't turn me on, and if there's any focus on actual genitalia or especially fluids, I get grossed out pretty quickly. I basically just like it on an aesthetic/emotional level, because I'm intrigued by and appreciative of the intimacy of...
5 tags
Anonymous asked: Recently I thought I might be asexual but I have a question... What if I think people are attractive or sexy or whatever but the idea of actually having sex revolts me? Am I asexual, or what?
May 2012
10 posts
Anonymous asked: What is the difference between sexual attraction and being turned on? Is there one? I can certainly appreciate a sexy man, I know and can identify that (as opposed to hot or cute for eg.), but I don't get turned on by them. People here on tumblr go on about coming from pictures/videos/audio and I honestly have no idea if they are serious or not.
Anonymous asked: Hi, If I want and expect to have sex at some point, but I VERY rarely am sexually attracted to anyone, does that make me grey-A? I mean mentally I desire sex, my body just doesn't comply.
Anonymous asked: Hi! Recently,I found out about gray-asexuality. I identified as pansexual,but I find sex repulsive and have no interest in doing it. I do however,have sexual attraction to people. Does this mean I'm a gray-ace? Thanks in advance.
Anonymous asked: I've had sex twice. Both with bad partners. People keep telling me that I just haven't had a good partner. Part of me wants to believe them. The other part knows I haven't been attracted to a person since my last relationship ended five years ago. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm demisexual. This is a very confusing time for me.
Anonymous asked: I'm tired of calling myself gray. I say i'm asexual even though i identify as gray because i think is easier to explain. But people still don't get it! Yesterday a "friend" called me with male pronouns because he tought asexual=agender. WTH? And then he tells me that thats how he's been explaining it to everyone else.OTHER PEOPLE I DID NOT WISHED THEY KNEW ABOUT THAT!...
Anonymous asked: First off sorry if this is a common question but I think I am asexual, for my whole life I have neither desired nor understood sex, or even had crushes. It's only now I've discovered the name for it, my question is though is it still possible to be "a late bloomer" if you've been through puberty?
5 tags
Anonymous asked: I'm sure this is just like a lot of other questions you receive, but having a sensual attraction, and not minding sex, but not particularly looking to have sex is considered gray-a, right? For example, to me sex is basically just an intense cuddle taken to another level. I don't get any sexual satisfaction out of it and wouldn't be the one to suggest it, but I don't mind it and...
qualityvanillaabsolute asked: To the person who experiences sexual attraction but doesn't want to have sex: I think it depends.I consider myself grey-a mostly because I have extremely low sexual drive,to the point where I don't really mind not having sex ever.I experience sexual attraction,but I don't experience the need to act on it.If you still want to have sex, but decide not to - that's celibacy,I...
Anonymous asked: What would it be called if someone does experience sexual attraction but just doesn't want to have sex? Would that be gray-asexual?
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forget-beam asked: what would you say about someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction (based on looks/personality/whatever), but enjoys having sex and isn't repulsed by it? would that person be demi or ace?
April 2012
3 posts
3 tags
I have a few questions on demisexuality
glowsinthedark9:
If you are comfortable with answering questions could you please private msg me (I am working on a part in my comic and I want to make sure I do it correctly)
6 tags
Asexuality Identity and Experiences Survey - Call...
acesecrets:
Julia Prims, of the University Of Colorado Boulder, is conducting research into asexuality for their honors thesis:
“This study is intended to examine the cultural dismissal of asexuality and self-esteem, depression, and self-concept in asexually identified individuals. You are being asked to participate in this study because you either identify as asexual or have ties to the asexual...
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Demisexuality: Wanted: List of Fictional Female... →
demisexuality:
I was thinking it would be nice to compile a list of fictional asexual-spectrum or likely ace-spectrum characters who are female or non-binary. I am going to stress here that I am not trying to erase or leave out male aces, demis and graces, and that later I will make a more complete list of…
Signal boost!
March 2012
9 posts
asexyqueer asked: Hi. I have submitted a motion for asexual inclusion within the NUS LGBT Campaign; and the conference is this weekend. There will be an Asexual Caucus and I could do with help handing out leaflets/talking about the campaign at conference if anyone will be there. Could you publicise this for me?
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Agender Ace: There's a post in the asexual tags... →
agenderace:
It links some instances of behavior with demisexuality.
So just to repeat:
BEHAVIOR IS NOT ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION IS NOT BEHAVIOR. DEMISEXUALITY IS NOT ABOUT BEHAVIOR. DEMISEXUALITY IS ABOUT ATTRACTION.
Just for some emphasis. Please, if you’re thinking about defining demisexuality as behavior…
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“Ace Positive” on Ace Secrets
acesecrets:
Are you proud to be asexual, demi or grey-a?
Have you found your ace best friend or romantic partner?
Did you go to your first meet-up this weekend?
Do you have a squish or a crush on someone?
Maybe you educated someone about asexuality?
Or maybe you just want to spread some positive vibes.
If you have something positive to share about being ace then share it with Ace Secrets!
...
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Hey, anyone want to help me revise an info sheet...
nextstepcake:
The current draft is here and will be updated as I make changes.
If anyone has any comments, criticism, things that need to be added, things that don’t seem important, please let me know!
It’s still a rough draft, so it definitely needs some work, especially in the challenges section.
Also, if you see anything problematic please don’t hesitate to call me out on it - I can take...
1 tag
Demisexuality: Things that are currently upsetting... →
demisexuality:
People who are not part of the asexual spectrum telling those who are how to identify. Nobody should police identities, but if it’s something you are not, and especially if it is something you do not understand, I have no idea why you would think it’s okay to go into a community and tell it’s…
Grey-A/Demisexual Forum →
dontblowmyhorn:
You should help spread the link! It seems like the forum got a lot of attention in its early stages, but now activity has ceased.
It’d be nice to get it running regularly active since it’s a great potential place for people of similar orientation to have a safe community for themselves.
