20th October, 2014

Anonymous asks:

i have identified as an aromantic lebian for a while now, but im seriously thinking im also grey ace?? im rarely attracted to anyone but when it happens its always a woman, so id still like to retain the label of lesbian, but idk if i can really identify as an aro grey ace lesbian???

YOU CAN BE ANYTHING, FOLLOW UR HEART.

I’ve met other people who ID as aro-ace and gay/lesbian!!! You aren’t alone!!!

xoxo Shapes

20th October, 2014

spookyplantain:

Some test materials - a poster and some sort of web badge - for asexual awareness week ‘14 to centralize aces/QT people of color this year in light of ten years of white supremacy in asexual spaces.
If you need a catch up:
White supremacy in and of the asexual community
"What’s R(ace) Got to Do with It?"
Owens: On The Racialization of Asexuality
Being Asexual and Asian
Black Womanhood, Asexuality, and Agency
a general collection of resources
And, regarding my targeting of asexual awareness week - this went down with the AAW “official” organization.
Feel free to make more + message me with links so I can share, too! And if you need higher res, also message me. I have PDFs.
spookyplantain:

Some test materials - a poster and some sort of web badge - for asexual awareness week ‘14 to centralize aces/QT people of color this year in light of ten years of white supremacy in asexual spaces.
If you need a catch up:
White supremacy in and of the asexual community
"What’s R(ace) Got to Do with It?"
Owens: On The Racialization of Asexuality
Being Asexual and Asian
Black Womanhood, Asexuality, and Agency
a general collection of resources
And, regarding my targeting of asexual awareness week - this went down with the AAW “official” organization.
Feel free to make more + message me with links so I can share, too! And if you need higher res, also message me. I have PDFs.

spookyplantain:

Some test materials - a poster and some sort of web badge - for asexual awareness week ‘14 to centralize aces/QT people of color this year in light of ten years of white supremacy in asexual spaces.

If you need a catch up:

And, regarding my targeting of asexual awareness week - this went down with the AAW “official” organization.

Feel free to make more + message me with links so I can share, too! And if you need higher res, also message me. I have PDFs.

(via Neither here nor there)

18th October, 2014

Tumblr accessibility culture fix: link text

jadelennox:

Dear Tumblr users:

There’s a cultural thing on Tumblr that if people changed just a little, would be a big accessibility win. You know the technique of linking to the source of content with just a linked “X”, eg: [x], or numbers, eg 1, 2, and 3? Please don’t do this.

That tiny “X” makes a tiny, tiny target. It’s hard to see if you have vision impairments or other visual processing issues. It’s hard to navigate to with a mouse for users with mobility issues, and a nearly impossible target for many people with small touch screens. For screen reader users, it simply announces as “link: X” and can be very difficult to understand out of context. For people with cognitive processing issues, it’s a link that tells the user nothing about its destination.

And most of these limitations can also be problems for able-bodied people!

Instead, using meaningful link text. Some examples might be

For a video, the title of the video is a pretty good choice, eg “How Blind People Use Twitter & You Tube on the iPhone 4S”. Or “Source”, or “source at YouTube”, or “video source”.

It’s a little thing which can be hugely beneficial to people with disabilities. Thanks, and I hope you consider changing how you link.

(Please reblog, too!)

(via Miscellani)

18th October, 2014

Anonymous asks:

Hi, I've been identifying as demiromantic for quite a while now and I've realized I've liked friends (that I have a not-so-tight bond with) and I'm wondering if I can still identify as demiromantic?

queenieofaces:

Hi, anon!

Okay, let me ask you a simple question: Does “demiromantic” feel like a useful word for you to describe your experiences and attractions?  If the answer is yes, then you should feel free to use the word.

I’ve written about the difficulty in deciding the dividing line between alloromanticism and demiromanticism before, and I really do think that how you identify should depend more upon the utility and fit of the word rather than someone standing around with a ruler saying, “Oh, no, sorry, you are 1 cm too alloromantic to ride the demiromantic train.”  If you find yourself saying, “Demiromanticism means only experiencing romantic attraction to people you already have a close emotional bond with.  What that means for me is [one to two sentences on how it works for you],” then that seems like a good enough fit.  If you find yourself saying, “Demiromanticism means only experiencing romantic attraction to people you already have a close emotional bond with.  What that means for me is [seventeen pages of caveats including an appendix and five figures],” it seems like you’re spending so much time and energy trying to make the term fit that maybe you’d be better off with a different word.

Let me give you a weird analogy (‘cause I’m all about weird analogies):

It’s really hard to find clothes that fit perfectly (unless you are very lucky or have an army of personal tailors at your disposal).  Clothes shopping is often an exercise in finding articles of clothing that fit well enough.  Okay, it fits well, except the legs are slightly too long.  Okay, the length is good, but the shoulders a little bit tight.  I really like the style, but it doesn’t quite fit over my hips.  There’s no single metric to differentiate between “fits well enough” and “doesn’t fit”—it’s often a question of fit and style and whether you or your rad friend can alter it and whether the next size up/down fits better (or exists) and how much you want that particular article of clothing in your wardrobe.  

I think grey identities can sometimes be similar, especially since they are, by definition, somewhat ambiguous and nebulous.  Deciding on the dividing line between “fits well enough” and “doesn’t fit” isn’t just a question of pulling out your Handy Dandy Attraction Measuring Tape and saying, “Wow, gosh, it seems that my romantic attraction is 5 mm too short for demiromanticism, so I guess I better shop in the alloromantic section.”  I think it should be about whether demiromanticism is a good enough fit, whether it helps you to communicate, whether you have to spend more time trying to make it fit through caveats and squirming than the time you save by saying, “I’m demiromantic” rather than “I only get crushes under certain conditions” or “I rarely get crushes.”

Okay, anon, I hope that helps somewhat, or at least gives you some food for thought.  If you’d like more reading, I have a whole demiromantic tag as well as a linkspam on greyness.

(via Concept Awesome)

18th October, 2014

filharmagic:

it’s ok to not be sure about your sexuality/gender ok guys? no matter how old you are. even if you’re in a relationship. even if you told everyone one thing. it’s really ok to not be sure because you’re growing and learning more about yourself ♬(ノ゜∇゜)ノ♩

(via Ace, Ace, Baby)

17th October, 2014

Anonymous asks:

okay so i read "who is grey-a" but i'm still not really sure... i've sort of used demisexual to describe myself but the truth is it's not really that i need to have an emotional connection so much as i'm asexual, non-repulsed, and even enjoy SEX, but am only really sexually attracted to my spouse. I'm poly and have close relationships, some of them sexual, but i'm not sexually ATTRACTED to them. is that grey-a or something else?

Hey friend! 

So the thing about demisexual is that, as you mentioned, it means you need to have some other connection or attraction to a person first. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to have a sexual attraction to every person who you have some other close relationship with or attraction to.  Of course, I don’t know if you did have a close relationship or connection to your spouse before you were attracted to them. One of the reasons that some people use the term Gray A is to indicate that they aren’t sexually attracted to most people, so that could be something that you feel like fits. It’s also worth noting that demisexual is a type of Gray A, so it sounds like you’ve already been feeling that that type of label kind of works for you. Going to the more general term of Gray A could make you feel better about the fact that demi doesn’t quite fit? 

Let us know what seems to feel right for you! It’s all about feeling comfortable with yourself and working to better understand your sexuality! And it sounds like you already understand yourself and your attractions pretty well so congrats?!

—Shapes

16th October, 2014

zine deadline extended: “f-ace-ing silence” issue 2 ( feeling silenced in ace spaces )

rotten-zucchinis:

A couple people have already submitted wonderful pieces. I need a few more submissions to make the zine issue. So I’ve extended the submission deadline extended to November 15th (2014)

For those of you who’ve been thinking of submitting something… there still lots of time! ( And it’s a zine… so timing is flexible— just let me know. )

Guiding questions:

  • What asexuality-related thing do you feel silenced about in asexual / ace communities?

  • Do you feel alone, alienated or confused about how to deal with some asexuality-related thing because there doesn’t really seem to be anyone talking about it in aces spaces?

  • And what do you have to say about it?

please e-mail submissions / questions to rotten.zucchinis@gmail.com

Full call for submissions here: http://rotten-zucchinis.tumblr.com/callout

(via Fragmentary Logos)

12th October, 2014

theasexualityblog:

yonohabloespanol:


Can someone please help me and explain what’s de difference between “Gray-A” and “demisexual”? :(

Grey-Asexuality covers:

  • Experiencing sexual attraction rarely
  • Experiencing sexual attraction, but not sufficiently enough to act on.
  • Experiencing sexual attraction, but no sex-drive
  • Experiencing sexual attraction, but only under specific circumstances

Demisexuality fits into the Grey-A spectrum, as it is dependent on specific circumstances, but an emotional bond is not the only circumstance that sexual attraction could be dependent on. It could also cover things like a genderfluid individual only experiencing sexual attraction during gender specific days, or someone only being sexually attracted to people who look a specific way, etc. 

Demisexuality is separated from Gray-Asexuality even though it could technically fit under that umbrella, because it covers one specific circumstance which is a very commonly shared experience in the community.

(via Aces and Sometimes Dinosaurs)